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Instituting the 100 word Facebook policy…oh foo!

So, I have this policy I impose upon myself when I have to write a paper. I’m not allowed to go on Facebook for at LEAST 100 words. So, I’m waiting as long as I can to actually start the paper in order to postpone the dreaded rule as long as possible.

Also, I’m writing this blog.

Today was my last day of regular classes. I don’t really have words to explain how I felt. There was definitely a part of me that was excited. I’m doing something new very soon-well, in March. But, I get to move on with my life. So, yeah, there’s excitement. But, at the same time, there is a real sadness I was NOT expecting. As I looked across the room at my spindly professor, I realized this was then end of the quirky knowledge and utterly off beat wisdom I’d get from him. I don’t foresee anytime in my future that I’ll be able to learn from this man. And dear God, it made me really sad. I’m 75% sure it had nothing to do with my Professor, even if I do have some weird brain crush on him.

Have I made the wrong choice? I’m sitting here, and I’m absolutely at 6’s and 7’s about the whole thing. I think the reason I’m feeling doubt is because I want the newness of life to start RIGHT NOW. And that’s not exactly the way it works. The last time I made a drastic choice, it ended 8 months later in near disaster. But I need to get out of Baltimore. See knew face, leave the spot that make my heart bleed behind, and find new spots that are just MINE, that I don’t have to share will old victories or losses, but make NEW victories and NEW losses.

I know this is going to be hard, but I need to grow up and live deliberately. I need to cut the 26 year old umbilical chord and LIVE.

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About Beating Heart, Spinning Mind

Professional dreamer. Searching for a job and greater meaning. Being a good girlfriend...well, trying to.

Discussion

2 thoughts on “Instituting the 100 word Facebook policy…oh foo!

  1. The more I read what you write about your future, the more at peace I am with the decision you are making. Even though it is scary right now because of the uncertainty of what the future may bring, it is also exciting. Keep your heart open to new adventures and new beginnings and I know you will do great!

    Posted by missylikestoramble | December 3, 2010, 5:42 am

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