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“She smokes sex and drinks pot…”

I have a whole pile of  “Where to start” that I’m sitting on here.

SO, I’m back from Florida, where it was cold and rainy most of the time. I didn’t even touch the beach. Oh well.

Coming back from Florida has afforded me NO clarity at all. I’m still not sure where I’m supposed to go. Not even a little.

And, being home makes me kinda grumpy. Same old place. same old obscenely messy room. Same old nobody to talk to.

I want to have some body to pick me up from the airport with balloons. Not that I don’t appreciate my dad coming to get my as usual, but I want a guy at the gate with flowers and an obnoxious show of affection.

I want to know that I have something to look forward to other than the misty future. I want NOW to be excited and enough. I want my now to fufill something. I think all my now is going to fuffill tonight is my sleep deprivation. I’ll write more tomorrow, just wanted to get stuff off the top on my head!



About Beating Heart, Spinning Mind

Professional dreamer. Searching for a job and greater meaning. Being a good girlfriend...well, trying to.


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