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“She smokes sex and drinks pot…”

I have a whole pile of  “Where to start” that I’m sitting on here.

SO, I’m back from Florida, where it was cold and rainy most of the time. I didn’t even touch the beach. Oh well.

Coming back from Florida has afforded me NO clarity at all. I’m still not sure where I’m supposed to go. Not even a little.

And, being home makes me kinda grumpy. Same old place. same old obscenely messy room. Same old nobody to talk to.

I want to have some body to pick me up from the airport with balloons. Not that I don’t appreciate my dad coming to get my as usual, but I want a guy at the gate with flowers and an obnoxious show of affection.

I want to know that I have something to look forward to other than the misty future. I want NOW to be excited and enough. I want my now to fufill something. I think all my now is going to fuffill tonight is my sleep deprivation. I’ll write more tomorrow, just wanted to get stuff off the top on my head!

C

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About Beating Heart, Spinning Mind

Professional dreamer. Searching for a job and greater meaning. Being a good girlfriend...well, trying to.

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