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“We are afraid to care to much, for fear that the other person does not care at all”

So, I said goodbye to him, for I guess the last time.

I don’t really know what happened. I managed not to let myself like him for such a long time, and then once he wasn’t available, my heart just kind of did a flip flop and realized that I liked him…a LOT! So, I told him the truth, that I was starting to really like him, and that I couldn’t do that, since he has a gf, and I don’t want to break my heart. But, while my heart isn’t wholesale broken, it sure hurts like hell.

I think what bothers me most of all is that he didn’t put up a fight…which just shows that he is really a good guy. HE just wanted to be friends…and I wanted more. He’s an honorable man, darn him.

Not to say that I don’t maintain that in the long run we wouldn’t strangle each other, but, in the short run, I would have liked to find out. I learned a lot from him. I might even say that I’ve never met anyone like him. He’s brave, strong, intelligent, witty…you get the picture. And he really believes, like no one I’ve ever met.

I prayed that God would give me a sign if I was supposed to stop talking to him, and, I kind of decided that if he was still with his girlfriend, I was going to bow out. Well, they are, so, away I go.

**sigh**

It was awkward as all get out, but, he didn’t fight me or argue with me, so, I guess that’s good. To be perfectly honest, some part of me wanted him to argue, but, I guess it’s not meant to be.

:-/

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About Beating Heart, Spinning Mind

Professional dreamer. Searching for a job and greater meaning. Being a good girlfriend...well, trying to.

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