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Feelings, freedom, love

Ramifications of Clothing

snow boards

snow boards (Photo credit: Kymberly Janisch)

I’m inordinately excited for tonight. Why, do you ask? And what does that have to do with the title of your blog? Well, I’ll answer both of those questions, keep you pants on! Sheesh!

First off, I’m excited because there is a pretty awesome band playing in Red River tonight, and there’s a guy I’m looking forward to seeing there. Both very exciting. Seems like he’s a nice guy, and I’m just excited to find out if that’s true or not.

And as to the cloths issue.

Here’s the thing, Red River is generally peopled by individuals who do things like, oh, I dunno, ski. Or snow board. And, I don’t know if you’ve ever spent much time with skier or snow boarders, but believe you me, there is a very specific style that this social group wears. It’s a fun, laid back almost early grunge, but cleaner…and wealthier. Ski pants, in case you’re wondering, are NOT cheap. For all intents and purposes, think snow bunny, but not in the ’80’s sense. Think re-vamped snow bunny. But, it’s a fun look. I enjoy it. Well, enjoy looking at it. It’s not quite my vibe. There in lies my issue/revelation.

While I was thinking about what I was going to wear tonight, I found my self thinking a few rather stupid things. One being what would people in Red River wear?? The other being, what would this guy like to see me in??

Let’s deal with the first issue first, shall we? As I’ve said, I love the Red River vibe, it’s just NOT ME. I would look horrible in the style. I need to be me. May I some day decide to go to the bar in a pair of over glorified snow pants? Who knows, but it’s not me and that day is not today. I opted instead for a cute dress thing-y over a borrowed paid of long black leggings, cardigan and borrowed pair of fake Ugg type boots. Very much more ‘me’ than any manufactured style, created to ‘fit in’ would have been.

The second issue-what would said guy like to see me in- is a lot more interesting to me, on various levels.

To start with, I honestly have no IDEA what this guy would like to see me in. My first guesses were something more along the lines of the above mentioned styles. Like I just walked off the slopes but still look strangely hot. I guess that was me judging him. Not nessisarily in a bad way, but still just judging. I really need to let who he is be revealed, instead of making it up as I go along. Which, if we really look at things, is a HUGE issue, and one for another blog entirely!

However liberating that revelation was, that wasn’t the realization I wanted to discuss.

What I really wanted to discuss, what I realized was this: He become interested in me, started to like me, wanted to approach me from seeing ME. Seeing how I was when I wasn’t trying to impress him at all. Ok, so I have been dressed well all the times I’ve seen him. You know, cute tops, nice jeans, a little make up and some tinted moisturizer, but not full on kabuki or a fake ski bunny look. But what I wasn’t was dressed AT him, if that makes any sense. I didn’t put on my clothes thinking “hmmmm what would Mr X think about THIS outfit? Would it make an impression?” I didn’t even know I WAS making an impression on him until he came right out and told me as much. So, why, OH WHY would I feel that I needed to change into a ski bunny to continue having this guys attention, when I didn’t get that attention is the first place by being a ski bunny?

I need to be ME, tonight and at all times. If he likes me when I don’t even know he is looking, how much more will he like me when I am being myself and I know he is looking?

So, here’s to the freedom to be myself! The freedom to dress exactly how I want to dress and not worry about what people may or may not be thinking. Because, it turns out, that time when you weren’t trying, was the time that someone actually saw you.

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About Beating Heart, Spinning Mind

Professional dreamer. Searching for a job and greater meaning. Being a good girlfriend...well, trying to.

Discussion

2 thoughts on “Ramifications of Clothing

  1. Ah, great blog! Nothing more sexual than a woman free to be who she is, and confident in who she is. This ‘new’ Claire is pretty darned amazing…keep it up, girlfriend!

    Posted by Kristina Hooper | February 5, 2012, 3:17 am
  2. Thanks! And thank goodness I dressed for ME ad NOT HIM! He ignored me all night! lol But man, I was comfy and felt GOOD!

    Posted by Beating Heart, Spinning Mind | February 5, 2012, 5:51 am

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